It is probably the toughest job on the field.
It is hard to do well, and seldom does anyone applaud you when you do it right. But to the team…and to your player…your
job is exceptionally important. The responsibility is enormous. Do your best to be a good representative of your
team…and your daughter's #1 supporter:
1. Softball is a SPORT - Kids are supposed to have FUN playing softball.
2.
Your daughter might not be as good of an athlete as you were when you were in school. Don't force her to
be something she isn't.
3. If you weren't a good athlete in school, it is not your daughter's
job to make up for what you didn't do.
4. She knows when she makes mistakes. Catch her doing something
right.
5.
Teach, but only teach when you know the right things.
6.
BE PATIENT! If you are the parent of a pitcher there are many body "mechanics" she needs to master before
she can start throwing hard. THEN, she has to master both mechanics AND speed before she should
start working on accuracy. Be patient!
7.
Umpires do their best and ARE trying to be fair. If you disagree with an umpire's call, try to keep it
to yourself. Your daughter doesn't need to think that the problems she might be experiencing can be blamed
on the umpire.
8. Not all good parents make
good softball coaches.
9. Not all good coaches
make good softball parents.
10. Again,
softball is a SPORT. Let your daughter have the privilege of: (1) doing it on her own, (2) doing her best,
and (3) having FUN doing it. Win or lose, your objective is to make her feel good about herself and make sure she
is smiling at the end of the game.
by Gerald Warner, Softball Coach & Parent
Parents - Involvement Or Interference
- excerpted from the article by Dr. Moe Gelbart in FASTPITCH WORLD - August '96
INVOLVEMENT
- Always be positive.
Learn to encourage, not criticize. If you don't have something
good to say, don't say it. - Be a parent, not an agent.
Talk to your daughter regarding
her concerns, and help her to learn to take care of most issues herself. Rather that criticize coaches and players, and make
excuses for herself, take the excellent opportunity to teach her how to cope with adversity. Don't make lists of demands
for the coaches to follow. - Spend time practicing at home.
In the years to come, you will
both treasure the memories of tossing the ball around, much more so than of victories and losses. - Volunteer
your time.
Ask the coach how you can help, and follow his/her direction. Your daughter will appreciate your positive
involvement, and be proud to have you as part of her team. - Attend games and cheer.
As
I have stated on many occasions, we must always keep in mind that positive self esteem is the primary goal of sports, not
[just] winning or losing.
INTERFERENCE - Don't go into the dugout to give instructions.
The girls have coaches, and they have worked hard
on developing cohesion and a mental attitude toward the game. Yelling out tips, advice, correction, or criticism will in no
way improve your daughter's performance. The same principle holds true in yelling out advise from the sidelines. Keep
in mind, the content and accuracy of the information is not the issue. Help not asked for is criticism. If your daughter has
not asked for your advise, then don't give it. - Don't question the coach's decisions during
or between games.
As a parent, you have a right to your opinion regarding playing time, attitude, criticism, etc.
However, I recommend the 24 hour rule - speak to the coach 24 hours after the game. By then, the dust
has settled, tempers have cooled, and saner heads prevail. At that time, be specific as to your concerns. Beginning
at approximately 14 years old, I believe it is important for you to empower your daughters, and teach them to take care of
their own needs. Rather than speak for them, encourage them to speak up for themselves. - Don't
make a spectacle of yourself during the game.
Loud and rude comments to umpires, opposing coaches, or even opponents
may seem humorous to you, but your daughter is cringing in the dugout with embarrassment. Always keep in mind that you are
a role model, and act on the field the way you would want your child to behave. - Don't tell your
daughter everything she has done wrong on the ride home from the game.
Trust me, this is not what is considered
quality time and sharing. You may thing it is helpful, but she feels criticized. In addition, she already knows that the error
she made in the seventh inning that allowed the winning run to score was not good, and does not need to be reminded of it
by you.
At one point during a game, the coach said to one
of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The player nodded in the affirmative.
"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?" The player nodded yes.
"So," the coach continued, "when a strike is called, or you're out at first, you don't argue or curse
or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?" Again the player nodded that he understood.
"Good,"
said the coach. "Now go over there and explain it to your parents."
ALONE AT THE PLATE
She picks up her helmet and then her bat,
and walks to the plate, "Gotta hit and that's
that".
The crowd starts to yell, the game's on the line,
last inning, two outs, the score's
nine to nine.
Dad yells, "go get it," Mom wrings her hands,
Coach hollers, "hit it",
but alone there she stands.
Heroes are made in seconds such as this,
but she's just a little girl, what
if she should miss?
Years after this game's ended and she's little no more,
will she remember the
outcome or even the score?
No, she will have forgotten if she was out, or scored a run.
She'll only
look back on her friends and the fun.
So cheer this girl on, alone with her fate;
help her remember with
fondness, this day at the plate.
Spend your time wisely and help in her quest
to be a hitter and always try
her best.
And when the game's over, this girl can stand tall,
for you helped her prepare to give it
her all.
